Happy Thursday Y’all! So it’s been a while since I shared a marriage post. Today’s special edition is our take on being married and quarantined. Yes, it’s been more than 6 weeks since my hubby and I have been in the house together 24 hours a day with TWO kids.
Did I mention 24 hours?
Next month we will celebrate 13 years of being together. Whew! I can’t believe I have been with him for 13 years! This coming August we will be celebrating 9 years of marriage. (Next year will be married for a decade! Yes, I got something up my sleeve for that one. So stay tuned!)
For this blog post, I asked my husband to join in on the fun and we put together our take on what it is really like to be Married and Quarantined. Here goes!
Disclaimer: If you didn’t know, allow me to inform you that I am married to Mr. Sarcasm with a side of CLASS CLOWN. I apologize in advance for his craziness. No edits have been made to anything that he has shared. (As a matter of fact, I had him read it before I hit the publish button.)
- Sometimes it feels like we are the stars of Bebe’s kids. I mean the living room would be clean. Everything in its place. Peaceful, quiet……….then come the kids and in less than 5 minutes the living room looks like a category 5 hurricane just went through it.
- Now we all know about a peanut butter sandwich. Maybe, even peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But my wife makes these peanut butter and syrup sandwiches. What the who? She is the only person I know who does that. Like…….. why………………….?
- These kids just are eating and eating and eating and eating and eating. So my wife and I had to move the snacks from the draw that is accessible to them. If I had it my way, I would turn the snack cabinet into a vending machine where everything cost a dollar. Go to your piggy bank and pay for it.
- My wife normally beats me to the bedroom because after you put these kids down you need some me-time (that’s essential). That time is for you to do whatever you do to de-stress and chill. Now when I get to bed and I lay down to sleep, at some point in the night baby boy starts crying and as always I ignore him. Then, Mrs. David proceeds to shove and tell me “don’t you hear the child.” I reply no” and go back to sleep. My wife will repeatedly shove me and bother me until I get up. Now what is most annoying is that she goes back to sleep and I’m up with him until he falls asleep. She will wake up in the morning talking about “Morning babe… I don’t know for some reason I’m still tired………………ninja what!!!!!!!!!
- Now one of my nicknames for my wife is Google. Because if she needs to find out about something……she on it. The other night we are sleeping and I was having a dope dream when suddenly I get woken up by my wife……”babe, what’s that smell“…… so I jump out my bed and I smell rubber so I immediately go to the window – which is open – and I tell her “the smell is coming from outside“. I lay back down and I go back to sleep because I want to continue my dream. She wakes me up again. “Did you check the kids’ room?” So I get up to check the kids’ room. Then, I go out the front door and confirm that the smell was outside. – By this time I’m wide awake. It’s over – I go back to the room and I confirm it with her. I try to go back to sleep……… then she pulls out her bright phone and tells me……..babe, look they say it could be a sign of an electrical fire 🔥……………pause……….didn’t I just tell her I went outside and the smell is coming from outside….. she then pulls up another website and I’m like yo Rona got you paranoid. Go TO SLEEP! When I turn my head my ninja of a daughter standing right in front of me talking about Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. In my head I started to sing…….when peace like a river attended my way……..
- My wife has this thing for Law and Order. I don’t get it. They play the same episodes every week for the last 10 years and she can sit there, watch, and be surprised by what’s happening on the show like its the first time she seeing it. Smdh! Somebody, please explain.
Nevertheless, there isn’t anyone I would rather be married and quarantined with. The jokes are on another level. The goofiness is on another level. And you need that, especially in these times.
- Listen, I have always known that my husband is a tech geek, but my boy’s set-up at home looks like he is running the Pentagon. He has a 27-inch monitor, TWO laptops, I-pad, Cell Phone, and 2 Bluetooth headsets. I mean really!!!!! Meanwhile, I over here with my one 11-inch Macbook and a monitor.
- Both hubby and I need a chiropractor once this lockdown is over. These kids keep popping up in our bed and they sleep like they battling spiritual warfare. They kicking my back, my belly, they are WILD SLEEPERS. Hubby and I always end up on the edge of the bed while the kids are sprawled out in OUR bed. Mind you, we have a KING SIZE BED.
- What is it with the block of cheese? I make breakfast most mornings. I will give hubby his eggs sprinkled with a little dash of salt and pepper, toast with butter, and either sausage or bacon. Then, he will get up and cut a block of EXTRA-Sharp cheddar cheese to have alongside it EVERY SINGLE TIME. Is that a West Indian thing? I don’t get it.
- Hubby and I try to take turns changing the little prince. I will grab everything I need and proceed to change him. Like clockwork, every time my husband goes to change the baby, he plops him down then goes Ummm, Babe, can you pass me the wipes and a diaper? Really!! You didn’t think you would need that in order to change his diaper. I mean, we’ve only been doing this for the past oh I don’t know – umpteen years lol.
- Hubby has been playing this new game that he literally seems to just die in every second. One second I look up and he is running and once second later the screen is red and he is DEAD, Again! He keeps saying the missions are hard, but he keeps going back in. I don’t know why he keeps playing and taking the abuse, but hey it makes him happy – I think!
- The other day was the NFL Draft. I was WARNED ahead of time that it was starting last Thursday. I decided to be a SUPPORTIVE WIFE. I cooked dinner early and we watched the draft together as a family and I stayed up all night with him until the first day of the draft was over. So the next morning, I am ready to watch my shows and Mr. I-always-have-to-wake-him-up is wide awake, sitting in the living room, and has FIRST TAKE on. Wait, what!!! Bruh man, the draft starts tonight. We are not going to spend all day watching the recap of what we watched all night – LAST NIGHT! We watched it ourselves. We know what happened. We don’t need a RE-CAP! What is it with men and sports? It has to be a conspiracy that even under quarantine we still have to deal with the NFL.
I must confess, I am married to the best co-worker ever. I have been cracking up listening to him on calls with his clients. Man oh man, the look on his face is priceless. As much as the kids can sometimes make me cry out to Jesus, I thank God every day that I am quarantined with my hubby. He is such a comedian and keeps me laughing. He keeps me positive and we share the load.
Some Tips for Married Couples!
Take turns cooking! Try new recipes together. Work on that cheese sauce. Be creative with what you have. It’s a great way to distract yourself.
Try to be active around the house. We downloaded the Zumba World tour on the Xbox and it has been great.
Have game nights and have fun together! It is key to keeping your sanity. For just that moment in time, you will forget about the world and enjoy precious time with your family.
Don’t be too hard on yourselves! Things will get done whenever they can get done. Do your best and allow some things to wait.
Talk! Yes, you’re married and live together, but check on each other. Don’t assume that all is well. Providing that outlet is a part of making sure we come out of this together and SANE.
Share the load! Being married means working together. No one spouse should feel like they are doing it all or someone is going to feel overwhelmed and it is not gonna be pretty.
Allow each other to do what they love to keep them happy. I love my Law and Order and he loves his Xbox. We each get our time and it helps us to come back re-charged.
We in this thing, together!
I don’t know how I would survive this experience without him. I also have to give a shout out to the kids because some things they do have me rolling on the floor with laughter. Granted some times they stress me out to the max, but our little unit is in this thing together and we gonna ride it out until the wheels fall off.